


Regrets

by momobqmi



Category: Kakegurui
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-14 19:31:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18482896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/momobqmi/pseuds/momobqmi
Summary: Just why did the President create that stupid Tower? Her decision to make that.. it was absolutely illogical! Everything about it was illogical.. Risking everything, just for a stupid gamble? And jumping off the tower.. Even with a safety mat, one slip up could cost a life.And it did.





	Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> \- Takes place after the Towers Arc 
> 
> \- Warning: There’s a mention of death & a heavily implied suicide attempt

 

 

The sound of the tall wooden doors creaking so harshly, and a loud cry of a gasp escaping the throat of an ever so familiar girl was the last sound Kirari heard before drifting into.. slumber?

 

-

 

“She’s awake!” Was the first thing Kirari heard when she woke up. “Call the sister in!” Kirari would have thought that voice was soothing, if it wasn’t for the almost rushed tone of it. 

 

The door opened, and closed just as quickly. Something about the low click of the door unsettled the white haired girl. 

 

She wanted to sit up, but she quickly found that she was unable to move. That was a lie of course, she could move. But, oh God, attempting to sit had sent waves of pain to nearly every inch of her body. 

 

Sighing, Kirari looked up at the ceiling. 

 

_Odd._

 

Her ceiling wasn’t white. Or at least, it wasn’t as white as this. Was the window open or something? No, even with her windows open, the walls wouldn’t ever shine this brightly. 

 

Turning her head, she realized that she was no longer in her room. No, instead she was in a much smaller, neater, and modernized room. It reminded her too much of something. 

 

“..Kirari..?” A voice so soft mumbled, in a questioningly, worried, tone.

 

Realization came over the girl and she felt like crying. 

 

“Hello, Ririka.” 

 

-

 

It’s been a few days now since Kirari had been in the hospital. 

 

It was a great experience here, she thought. She learned so much from the nurses and other caretakers here. Almost everything that’s been said and done had been utterly fascinatingto her. 

 

From the way the nurses had cared for her, how they had fed her, offered her certain treatments, how carefully they were with trying to get her to her move, and how kind and respectful they were to her.. Her time here was all a delight, but that could have possibly been because she was a Momobami. Even so, she hoped that the other patients were treated the same way. 

 

As the thought crossed her mind, Kirari realized how illogical it sounded. Of course each patient was treated with the same care as her. Nothing has to change about her treatment because of her high position, right? 

 

She sighed, had she not known much about the world after all? The answer to that was yes. No matter how intelligent she was, her curiosity to things had always led her to believe that she truly wasn’t all that smart. That had sometimes hurt her, knowing that she’s one of the top students in her class.. With that said, she was probably the top student in her school. Perhaps it was because she was a Momobami? 

 

Kirari winced. Did having such a high status really make others behave in such a way? Were the people in this world really like that? Always kissing up to those in possessions of great fortunes? Kirari wished she was smarter.. Maybe not in academics, but in common sense.. She wished that she was more logical, too. Being logical could have prevented so many things. For example, if her mind were to have any sense of logic.. a sense of right and wrong, maybe then the game would have never been played, and Sayaka would have never missed the safety mat. 

 

-

 

Tomorrow would be her day of departure. The thought of leaving almost saddened her. Some part of the girl didn’t want to leave. She liked it here. In fact, she had grown quite fond of her surroundings, and surprisingly, enjoyed talking to the nurses. 

 

The main reason why she probably didn’t want to leave was because of the room. The room was different, but not in a bad way. It was different from hers. It was clean, neat, and well organized..It was nice and tidy, and Kirari liked it. It was beautiful. 

 

The second reason why she wanted to stay was because she and her younger twin sister had began to talk more. Not that they don’t talk, it’s just that when they do, it’s only Ririka agreeing to switch places with her, or taking a request from her.

 

The thought made her feel sick. 

 

-

 

Since when did Ririka learn how to drive? Kirari didn’t know. But she was a tad bit glad that Ririka was the one driving her home, rather than one of their personal assistants. 

 

Kirari shivered. 

 

“I hope you won’t get mad but-“

 

“Ririka, don’t worry so much, I won’t get mad. So please, don’t worry.” 

 

“R-Right! Sorry..” 

 

“Don’t apologize either.”

 

Ririka mumbled another “Sorry.” before getting on with what she was going to say. 

 

Kirari only huffed. Sometimes, she couldn’t believe that Ririka was her twin sister. 

 

“I’ve arranged a meeting for you.. 

T-To meet with a therapist..”

 

“Oh.” 

 

For the rest of the car ride, both girls didn’t say a word. 

 

-

 

Just what was she supposed to tell her therapist? That she attempted suicide because the girl she was interested in had died? That would make her sound foolish. Absolutely foolish.. and the therapist would probably laugh about it. 

 

Kirari groaned. What’s with these idiotic thoughts? A therapist is just another health professional, like the nurses and caretakers back at the hospital. They were there to help her. Nothing more, and nothing less. Maybe they may even treat her better than others because of her status as a Momoba- No .  **_No._ **

 

-

 

Kirari had attended therapy for about three days now. She hasn’t told her therapist, Mr. Tanaka, if she remembered correctly, about what had caused her to do  that .. yet. But she did tell him about how saddened she was by the fact that she and her sister had only recently began to talk. She has also told him how they had rarely spent time with one another. 

 

He had suggested that she and Ririka go out for coffee and such. Kirari listened, of course, and took his advice. For the past few nights, she and the younger girl had been going out at night, talking, eating, walking, and enjoying each other’s company. It made her happy. 

 

Kirari decided that that’s what she was going to talk to him about today, but just as she sat down in the oddly comfortable chair, a tall, dark eyed, and dark haired, lady, had stepped into the room. 

 

She stood behind Tanaka, clipboard in hand, and a pen in the other. 

 

“Who is that?” Kirari said, calmly. Maybe a bit too calmly. 

 

The question seemed to have thrown Tanaka off, considering the startled expression he made. His confused expression gradually turned into one of realization. 

 

“Oh? This is Sayaka Kyobashi, she’s an intern. If you don’t mind, Ms. Kyobashi will be with us for a while and-” 

 

Kirari left the room. 

 

\- 

 

“I’m not going back to therapy.”

 

Ririka made no comment to her sister’s decision.

 

-

 

Kirari had confided in Ririka for quite some time now. 

 

She really was a great listener, and she did very well at giving advice. Kirari was happy to be able to talk about her feelings to her. There was never a moment where Ririka would judge her.. and it made her feel somewhat relaxed that she was talking to someone she knew. 

 

-

 

It’s been almost two weeks now that the President of the Student Council had attended school. 

 

Many had worried about her disappearance, while some didn’t even notice that she was gone. 

 

The sound of students chattering filled the air as Kirari walked down the rather long halls.

 

“Hey! She’s back!” She heard a student whisper. 

 

“I’m glad she’s okay..” said another. 

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Haven’t you heard? She tried to kill herself a few weeks ago!”

 

“Oh! Yeah! Didn’t her girlfriend die or something?”

 

Kirari tried her best to pay no mind to the rumor-filled halls... but.. 

 

Did the students really think she was dating her Secretary? 

 

Oh, no. What a lie. What a tremendous lie. 

 

Kirari and Sayaka were nothing but acquaintances. Right? Right. No.. 

 

Sayaka is a stranger. Sayaka died, as a complete stranger to her. 

 

-

 

The President stepped into the doors of the Student Council.

 

The members looked at her, faces filled with surprise, delight, and... worry. 

 

“President!” Runa was the first to speak. “We missed you so much! I’m glad you’re back!” the comment was followed by many nods of agreement. 

 

Kirari only smiled. It was a small and genuine smile. One that she’d usually only show to- 

 

“How have you been lately?” The question was asked by Midari. 

 

Ah, Midari. She was a rather interesting girl. Not as interesting as Sayaka, of course. No, she wasn’t as intelligent as Sayaka, and she wasn’t as honest, trustworthy, or loyal, as Sayaka. Heck! She wasn’t beautiful. She wasn’t pretty, or cute, or as stunning as the dear Secretary! No one was, Kirari decided. No one.. 

But nonetheless, Midari was still unique in her own, odd, ways. 

 

Kirari bit her tongue, trying to keep her smile in place. “I’m fine.” She almost muttered, walking to her seat. 

 

As she approached closer and closer, her gaze met her sister’s, although her face was covered by a dull mask. Nodding her head at Ririka, she finally took her seat. 

 

The girl placed her hands on the surface of the cool table, watching them intertwine before looking up to meet the gaze of the Student Council members. 

 

Something feels out of place. 

 

The white haired girl opened her mouth, as if she was about to say something... To request something.. But she didn’t. 

 

Once again, she bit her tongue, and held the urge to look back.. She wanted to look back. Just to make sure. But to make sure of what exactly? She didn’t know. But she wanted to look back. Maybe then, in someway, or in some form, she would be there.. she would see her. But Kirari didn’t look back.. She knew if she did, there would be nothing there. 

 

“We have lots to discuss.. Especially since you’re here, now.” Yuriko began, her features calm. 

 

“No.” 

 

Sounds of displeasure, curiosity, and amusement filled the large room. 

 

“There will be no discussion today.” Kirari continued, “You all may leave.”

 

No one questioned it. 

 

Not one person. 

 

-

 

As soon as everyone had exited the room, Ririka took steps closer towards her sister, placing her hand on the girl’s shoulder. 

 

“Do you wish for me to leave as well?” 

 

Kirari realized that her mask was off. 

 

“No, stay.”

 

“Okay.” 

 

The two girls stayed there, alone in the room. The sound was of silence, but it wasn’t awkward, no, not at all. 

 

“Ririka.” 

 

“Yes?”

 

The first drop of a rain had broke free, and just moments later, crashed a storm. The storm had been followed by a low choke of a scream. 

 

Ririka wrapped her arms around her sister, speaking words of comfort. Leaning forward, Kirari buried her face against Ririka’s body, trembling as she gripped so desperately onto her uniform. 

She felt strangely comfortable as she continued to weep and scream... Scream as if a limb of hers was being forcefully ripped away.. as if she was being stabbed a hundred and one times.. as if her life depended on it. 

 

“Why?” was the only word her voice was able to form. 

“Why? Why? Why?”

 

Just why did the President create that stupid Tower? Her decision to make that.. it was absolutely illogical! Everything about it was illogical.. Risking everything, just for a stupid gamble? And jumping off the tower.. Even with a safety mat, one slip up could cost a life. 

 

And it did. 

 

It’s Sayaka’s fault. Yes. If she didn’t freak out so much when the President had jumped after after, maybe then she wouldn’t have missed the damn mattress! No- No no no nononono- 

 

It’s not Sayaka’s fault. No, it wasn’t. 

It wasn’t Sayaka’s fault. No, not at all.. It wasn’t Sayaka’s fault that she jumped off and missed the mat by a few inches.. It was Kirari’s. Why did she ever design that game? Why did she make Sayaka play it? Knowing very well that Yumeko would win? Why couldn’t she get any sense of logic in her? A sense of right and wrong? Why was she so.. Different..? What part of her thought it was okay for the love of her life to jump off a building, believing that she would die as a complete stranger to the woman she loves? 

 

Oh no. 

 

Why couldn’t the President be more like Sayaka? Why couldn’t she be more logical?

 

Sayaka was logical. Sayaka was very, very, logical. She was a smart, serious, and ambitious girl. She was caring, sweet, and ever so beautiful.. 

 

She was a delicate girl who cared so deeply about the school.. the Student Council.. The President. 

 

Ah.. Yes, the President. She was always beside the President. 

Always there to take on any assignment assigned. 

Always there for her, no matter how odd the task may seem. She was always so loyal to the President. 

And how did the President repay her? She didn’t, and oh jeez, how much she wishes she did. 


End file.
